Showing posts with label Humerous. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humerous. Show all posts
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Monday, June 16, 2014
ME & MY BOSS
When I Take a long time to finish,
I am slow,
When my boss takes a long time,
he is thorough
When I don't do it,
I am lazy,
When my boss does not do it,
he is busy,
When I do something without being told,
I am trying to be smart,
When my boss does the same,
he takes the initiative,
When I please my boss,
I am apple polishing,
When my boss pleases his boss,
He is cooperating,
When I make a mistake,
I' am an idiot.
When my boss makes a mistake,
He's only human.
When I am out of the office,
I am wondering around.
When my boss is out of the office,
He's on business.
When I am on a day off sick,
I am always sick.
When my boss is a day off sick,
He must be very ill.
When I apply for leave,
I must be going for an interview.
When my boss applies for leave,
it's because he's overworked
When I do good,
my boss never remembers,
When I do wrong,
he never forgets
what to do??????
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
Teacher student jokes..
eacher: ‘What is your name?’
Student: ‘Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.’
Teacher: ‘When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.’
Student: ‘My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: ‘What is your name?’.
Student: ‘My name is Beautiful Red Underwear’
Teacher: ‘What kind of a name is this? Don’t joke tell me the right name’
Student: ‘My name is Sunderlal Chadda.”
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: ‘Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence
Johnny: ‘Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.’
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg…Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Student: ‘Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai.’
Teacher: ‘When I ask a question in English, answer it in English.’
Student: ‘My name is Sunlight.
Teacher: ‘What is your name?’.
Student: ‘My name is Beautiful Red Underwear’
Teacher: ‘What kind of a name is this? Don’t joke tell me the right name’
Student: ‘My name is Sunderlal Chadda.”
Teacher: What happened in 1869?
Student: Gandhiji was born.
Teacher: What happened in 1873?
Student: Gandhiji was four years old.
Teacher: What is the full form of maths?
Student: Mentally affected teachers harassing students
Teacher: Now children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him then what virtue would I be showing?
Student: BROTHERLY LOVE
Teacher: Because of Gandhiji’s hard work what do we get on 15th August?
Student: A holiday
Teacher: ‘Can anyone give me an example of Coincidence
Johnny: ‘Sir, my mother and father got married on the same day same time.’
Teacher: How old is ur father.
Sunny: As old as I am.
Teacher: How is it possible?
Sunny: He became father only after I was born. (1st Rank)
Teacher: There is a frog, Ship is sinking, potatoes cost Rs3/kg…Then, what is my age?
Student: 32 yrs.
Teacher: How do you know?
Student: Well, my sister is 16 yrs old and she is half mad.
Why do call centre guys get paid so much ?
1 ) Tech Support : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
———— ——— ——— ———
2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
———— ——— ——— ———
3)Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
4).Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
5). Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ?????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
7). Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
8).Cus tomer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
9). Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
10). Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support : “What does it say?”
Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support : ?????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
11). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open
24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
12). Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”
Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support : “Well?”
Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE . COM at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Customer : “Ok.”
Tech Support : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer : “No.”
Tech Support : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?”
Customer : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
———— ——— ——— ———
2) Customer : “I received the software update you sent, but I am still
getting the same error message.”
Tech Support : “Did you install the update?”
Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”
———— ——— ——— ———
3)Customer : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support : “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”
Customer : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer : “What?”
Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer: “No…”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
4).Customer : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
5). Tech Support : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
6) Tech Support : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer : “A white one.”
Tech support : ?????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
7). Tech Support : “What operating system are you running?”
Customer : “Pentium.”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
8).Cus tomer : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
9). Customer : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
10). Customer : “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support : “What does it say?”
Customer : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer : “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support : ?????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
11). Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open
24 hours.”
Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
12). Tech Support : “What does the screen say now?”
Customer : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support : “Well?”
Customer : “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support : ??????
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
The best of the lot
13). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to report that
his computer is faulty.
Tech: What’s the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You’ll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don’t! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You’ll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support::
10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he is right. The tech
is frustrated and fed up.
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don’t normally tell our customers this, but there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE . COM at
the end of the CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn’t work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22 .
Tech : That’s your problem there. That version of DOS didn’t come with
NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will give you
the file. Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said, and he
started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn’t compatible with NOSMOKE.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— -
Hight Of all (Too Good)
14) customer care officer: I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in
finding it out?
Customer: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Cust: I did left click but how do I find your computer?
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Enjoy...............
Why do we sometimes write 'etc' at the end in the exam?
bcoz it means...
E- End of
T- Thinking C- Capacity.
E- End of
T- Thinking C- Capacity.
------------------------------ -----------
How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u?
? ?
? ?
? Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..
"I Luv u too"
. .
GAME OVER.!
How to Create d Biggest Doubt in ur Wife's Mind 4 u?
? ?
? ?
? Just Suddenly send her SMS Saying..
"I Luv u too"
. .
GAME OVER.!
------------------------------ -----------
When do you know ur in love? Ans. When you start searching for the cheapest mobile plan
------------------------------ -----------
What is the Diff b/w
Young Age & Old Age?
*
Simple.. In Young Age
Phone Is Full Of Darlings Numbers..
In Old Age Its Full of Doctors Numbers..!-
------------------------------ -----------
"Why is Facebook such a hit? It works on the principle that-
'People are more interested in others life than their own-!
------------------------------ -----------
A Question Asked In A Talent Test: If You Are Married To 1 Of The Twin Sisters, How would You Recognize Your WIFE?
The Best Answer - Why d Hell Should I recognize?
------------------------------ -----------
V Pronounce 22 as TwentyTwo, 33 as Thirty Three,
44 as FortyFour, 55 as FiftyFive, Why not 11 as Onety One?
Doubt By last bench association...
44 as FortyFour, 55 as FiftyFive, Why not 11 as Onety One?
Doubt By last bench association...
------------------------------ -----------
What is the diff.between"GHAZAL" &"LECTURE"?Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL" and Every word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"
What is the diff.between"GHAZAL" &"LECTURE"?Every word spoken by the girlfriend is "GHAZAL" and Every word spoken by wife is "LECTURE"
------------------------------ -----------
Whats d diff btwn Pongal n idly? think.think..think...U ll get a holiday for pongal but not for idly.
------------------------------ ----------
What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL? Guess Guess Guess Guess "FOOLAN DEVI..
------------------------------ ----------
What will be the girl's name born on 1st of APRIL? Guess Guess Guess Guess "FOOLAN DEVI..
------------------------------ -----------
Why
does d bride & groom exchange garlands at d time of wedding.....
B'coz they say each affectionately that : "DARLING NOW U R DEAD"...........
------------------------------ -----------
What is the height of confusion? Two earth worms Playing HIDE AND SEEK in a Plate full of noodles.
------------------------------ -----------
Wat is d Biggest Benefit of having a crush in d same college where u study ?
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. 100% Attendance... :-P
------------------------------ -----------
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. .
. 100% Attendance... :-P
------------------------------ -----------
Teacher: What Is The Difference Between HIMAMI &
SUNAMI ? Tintu: HIMAMI is Face Wash,
SUNAMI is Total Wash.!
------------------------------ -----------
Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“ U r my Best Wife?”
Difference between Friend & Wife
U can Tell ur Friend
“U r my Best Friend”
But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
“ U r my Best Wife?”
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)